Saturday, September 30, 2006
Searching...
Countdown to going back to So Cal is at 81 days (yes, I've numbered my calendar). Time is flying by, oddly enough, and I need a job. But, as any twenty-something eventually has to decide...what do I want to do? What are my priorities? What are my values (in a job)?
My dad had this advice the other day when I mentioned I'd started sending out resumes: "When you're looking for a job, make sure it has a good salary." wth?
Now, this has always (always always) been a point of contention between me and my parents. They came to America in the late '70s with about $500 dollars and some student loans, waited until after they'd bought their first house to have children, and have generously supported both my brother and I through college. My dad's first job in America was a dishwasher at the second best (aka worst) Chinese restaurant in Arlington, Texas. This after leaving a cushy engineering job at the Taiwanese government's transportation branch.
My parents were 25 and 27 when they got married, both with stable jobs (my mom was an accounting teacher at a vocational school). And yet, they didn't have children until they were into their 30s. They've always provided for us everything we need (and some things we didn't need), and I understand that all they want for their children is a stable life with no financial worries. Getting married at 23, straight out of grad school and to a man that still has several years of school left is unheard of to them, but thankfully they love me and Kevin enough to be happy for us.
Their generation is all about sacrifice - they surely did, both leaving school before they finished their advanced degrees. My dad's Ph.D advisor even called him up last year to ask if he ever planned to finish (20 years after the fact). Their life hasnt' been easy, and there's a definite generation gap between us.
For those that know me, I like to be happy. I don't worry about the small stuff (usually), but am pretty content that things will work themselves out. This worries my parents greatly, as they're afraid I'm going to be happy and poor. Which is perfectly fine with me (to some extent), and here's why.
If half of America can live on a household income of less than $60,000, then so can I. Who says I need to have a nice new car every few years, or eat out, or even buy shoes that cost more than $30 (yes, I've never personally shelled out more than that for kicks). Who am I, as a suburban brat, to say that my life would be "better" than someone else's because I make more money? Wealth is relative, and as long as my family is clothed and fed and happy, I will be happy, too.
But that's not enough for my parents. Lately (in the past two years or so), I've been getting closer to them. Maybe it's the age, maybe it's the fact that I actually lived at home for more than two weeks at a time, and will be stuck there for eight months next year. My "teenage rebellion" began in second grade and lasted until my sophomore year of college. I am a major pain in my parents' butt, and not just cuz I chose one of the most expensive schools in the nation for grad school and getting married not long after that, but because I don't think like them.
That said, I've often (in the past) been critical of their actions, which they take as critical to their parenting. My parents are great, and have given up so much for their children, and this is another (unrelated) moment where they feel they have failed in raising children because their daughter doesn't want to make bank. As staunch Christians, shouldn't our worth be measured in non-monetary things? I think so.
Which leads back to the job search. My dad did have a good point in what he said - many employers look at your previous salaries to judge your worth or see how you judge your own worth. A dilemma here is that I'm stuck (rather happily) in a minimum wage internship, but I can't do much more at this point with school.
First jobs are difficult to find, and I'm finding that having a Master's Degree will not really work in my advantage. I don't really feel entitled to much (although the pressure of student loans is really heavy), but the truth is, a lot of publishing industry jobs only require a Bachelor's. Whether the extra year and a half (and tens of thousands of dollars) will make a difference in how potential employers see me has yet to be seen.
Just venting.
My dad had this advice the other day when I mentioned I'd started sending out resumes: "When you're looking for a job, make sure it has a good salary." wth?
Now, this has always (always always) been a point of contention between me and my parents. They came to America in the late '70s with about $500 dollars and some student loans, waited until after they'd bought their first house to have children, and have generously supported both my brother and I through college. My dad's first job in America was a dishwasher at the second best (aka worst) Chinese restaurant in Arlington, Texas. This after leaving a cushy engineering job at the Taiwanese government's transportation branch.
My parents were 25 and 27 when they got married, both with stable jobs (my mom was an accounting teacher at a vocational school). And yet, they didn't have children until they were into their 30s. They've always provided for us everything we need (and some things we didn't need), and I understand that all they want for their children is a stable life with no financial worries. Getting married at 23, straight out of grad school and to a man that still has several years of school left is unheard of to them, but thankfully they love me and Kevin enough to be happy for us.
Their generation is all about sacrifice - they surely did, both leaving school before they finished their advanced degrees. My dad's Ph.D advisor even called him up last year to ask if he ever planned to finish (20 years after the fact). Their life hasnt' been easy, and there's a definite generation gap between us.
For those that know me, I like to be happy. I don't worry about the small stuff (usually), but am pretty content that things will work themselves out. This worries my parents greatly, as they're afraid I'm going to be happy and poor. Which is perfectly fine with me (to some extent), and here's why.
If half of America can live on a household income of less than $60,000, then so can I. Who says I need to have a nice new car every few years, or eat out, or even buy shoes that cost more than $30 (yes, I've never personally shelled out more than that for kicks). Who am I, as a suburban brat, to say that my life would be "better" than someone else's because I make more money? Wealth is relative, and as long as my family is clothed and fed and happy, I will be happy, too.
But that's not enough for my parents. Lately (in the past two years or so), I've been getting closer to them. Maybe it's the age, maybe it's the fact that I actually lived at home for more than two weeks at a time, and will be stuck there for eight months next year. My "teenage rebellion" began in second grade and lasted until my sophomore year of college. I am a major pain in my parents' butt, and not just cuz I chose one of the most expensive schools in the nation for grad school and getting married not long after that, but because I don't think like them.
That said, I've often (in the past) been critical of their actions, which they take as critical to their parenting. My parents are great, and have given up so much for their children, and this is another (unrelated) moment where they feel they have failed in raising children because their daughter doesn't want to make bank. As staunch Christians, shouldn't our worth be measured in non-monetary things? I think so.
Which leads back to the job search. My dad did have a good point in what he said - many employers look at your previous salaries to judge your worth or see how you judge your own worth. A dilemma here is that I'm stuck (rather happily) in a minimum wage internship, but I can't do much more at this point with school.
First jobs are difficult to find, and I'm finding that having a Master's Degree will not really work in my advantage. I don't really feel entitled to much (although the pressure of student loans is really heavy), but the truth is, a lot of publishing industry jobs only require a Bachelor's. Whether the extra year and a half (and tens of thousands of dollars) will make a difference in how potential employers see me has yet to be seen.
Just venting.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Leaders of the herd mentality
We had a saying in Mesa Court back in '04: "freakin' sheep."
It's safe to say that the phrase applies to more than just mindless drones carrying out institutional policies, but, as I see more and more each day, the media.
Case in Point: The TO Show
Yes, I'm a prime example by still harping on something that's been so talked about, but isn't that part of the point? Background is: Terrell Owens either a) attempted suicide by swallowing 35 pain pills or b) had an allergic reaction to an interaction between pain medication and vitamin supplements and lost 35 pain pills somewhere in his house. After the incident occured Tuesday night, the sports press jumped on it like no other. This kind of thing just didn't happen in professional sports. Drunk driving, rape and domestic violence are old news compared to this - one of the NFL's biggest showboaters could be depressed?
Hours and hours passed before any official statements were released by police, publicists or the Cowboys. By the time they had, almost 20 hours after the incident occurred, just about every news outlet in the country was waiting with bated breath to get the "real" story.
But they'd already published the story, or at least The Story as of the morning press deadline. In the name of rightful attribution, nearly every news story cited the break by WFAA, a Dallas-area television station, and a police report that allegedly backed the attempted suicide story. Problem was, the police report had not been officially released yet (a small hitch that NY's Jeanine Pirro is also dealing with around this time). So they had one real source for what could be a sensational story (that they all covered together, apparently).
Newspapers, as you may recall, used to be delivered to our doorsteps every morning (for some of us they still are), and we'd read it, believe it, and line the litterbox with it at night. But with the onslaught of Google news and RSS feeds, etc., it takes only a click of the mouse to read not only our local paper online, but also the local papers of nearly every other city (some major, some not so major) on our computer screens. This has, to the dismay of newspaper readers, allowed us to read and compare stories from different news organizations. True, a lot of stories are taken from the Associated Press, United Press or other newswires, and therefore are just reprints of each other (still a pain to go through on Google news), but other publications are more enterprising, trying to change a thing here or there, or reporting just parts of the story.
The TO Show was definitely an interesting case study in this trend. While all the fuss was being made about a possible suicide attempt, a handful of publications reported exactly what TO's PR machine wanted them to: that it was an allergic reaction. But was the scandal of attempted suicide the product of an independent journalist's thought? Chances are, it was spread by another, equally as capable but perhaps just not as knowledgable, group of press experts. It isn't by chance that some events are reported nationwide. It's the herd mentality.
Which leads us back to sheep. Sure, they might taste good (not to me...I'll stick with beef, thank you), but in an industry where ideas are so valued, it's interesting to see how unoriginal people can be. Have no fear, however, NYU is training plenty of sheep to keep the trend going.
It's safe to say that the phrase applies to more than just mindless drones carrying out institutional policies, but, as I see more and more each day, the media.
Case in Point: The TO Show
Yes, I'm a prime example by still harping on something that's been so talked about, but isn't that part of the point? Background is: Terrell Owens either a) attempted suicide by swallowing 35 pain pills or b) had an allergic reaction to an interaction between pain medication and vitamin supplements and lost 35 pain pills somewhere in his house. After the incident occured Tuesday night, the sports press jumped on it like no other. This kind of thing just didn't happen in professional sports. Drunk driving, rape and domestic violence are old news compared to this - one of the NFL's biggest showboaters could be depressed?
Hours and hours passed before any official statements were released by police, publicists or the Cowboys. By the time they had, almost 20 hours after the incident occurred, just about every news outlet in the country was waiting with bated breath to get the "real" story.
But they'd already published the story, or at least The Story as of the morning press deadline. In the name of rightful attribution, nearly every news story cited the break by WFAA, a Dallas-area television station, and a police report that allegedly backed the attempted suicide story. Problem was, the police report had not been officially released yet (a small hitch that NY's Jeanine Pirro is also dealing with around this time). So they had one real source for what could be a sensational story (that they all covered together, apparently).
Newspapers, as you may recall, used to be delivered to our doorsteps every morning (for some of us they still are), and we'd read it, believe it, and line the litterbox with it at night. But with the onslaught of Google news and RSS feeds, etc., it takes only a click of the mouse to read not only our local paper online, but also the local papers of nearly every other city (some major, some not so major) on our computer screens. This has, to the dismay of newspaper readers, allowed us to read and compare stories from different news organizations. True, a lot of stories are taken from the Associated Press, United Press or other newswires, and therefore are just reprints of each other (still a pain to go through on Google news), but other publications are more enterprising, trying to change a thing here or there, or reporting just parts of the story.
The TO Show was definitely an interesting case study in this trend. While all the fuss was being made about a possible suicide attempt, a handful of publications reported exactly what TO's PR machine wanted them to: that it was an allergic reaction. But was the scandal of attempted suicide the product of an independent journalist's thought? Chances are, it was spread by another, equally as capable but perhaps just not as knowledgable, group of press experts. It isn't by chance that some events are reported nationwide. It's the herd mentality.
Which leads us back to sheep. Sure, they might taste good (not to me...I'll stick with beef, thank you), but in an industry where ideas are so valued, it's interesting to see how unoriginal people can be. Have no fear, however, NYU is training plenty of sheep to keep the trend going.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Hometown Heroes
La Palma, California, sits next to Buena Park, self-proclaimed "Center of the Southland," and yet no one has ever heard of it (unless you're from there or have been lucky enough to meet someone from there). With a population of over 15,000 squeezed into 1.7 square miles of suburban development, there's a singular character about town, whether you're at the "new" Subway (it wasn't there in high school!) or at Central Park, watching a summer concert in the amphitheatre (capacity 100 - maybe).
For all of Orange County's beachy "charm," La Palma, like most OC cities, has no coastline. There are no McMansions, no malls, just the main drag, a Ralphs and a Drug Emporium. Bordering right up to Los Angeles County (cities of Cerritos and Lakewood), chances are if you've lived in Orange County and ever went to Knott's Berry Farm, LA, Cerritos or Long Beach, you' ve driven through La Palma and never even noticed.
This is my hometown. Although no "famous" people have ever come out of La Palma proper, our high school has bred some well known outsiders: John Stamos (who reportedly lived in Cypress) and Lisa Tucker (she actually lives in Anaheim). You may remember John Stamos from such classics like Full House and his marraige to supermodel Rebecca Romjin. Lisa Tucker was on the most recent season of American Idol, and actually got her start on Broadway years ago (and she's singing in a free American Idols concert October 5 in front of Anaheim's City Hall...hint hint...GO!).
Other than the occasional celeb, local legend has it that our John F. Kennedy High School is actually the first high school in the nation adopt the name, just days after the assassination of our namesake. Originally the Centralia High School Patriots (or something or other), the school opened in 1963. After the death of JFK that November, the student body government immediately took action. Within days, they had gathered enough local signatures to officially change the name. For being the first, there was reportedly a visit from Rose Kennedy, JFK's mother, to dedicate the school under its new name, and there is a replica of her famous rocking chair somewhere on campus (it's been a while). But that's all according to legend.
Legend also has it (all we seem to have is legend) that La Palma is actually the first "planned community" in OC. It is reported that, when planning out the model for Irvine, James Irvine himself came to LP to scope out the scene and get some helpful hints. Formerly Dairyland, CA (along with parts of Cerritos and Cypress), it still reeks of manure everytime it rains. In the past decade or so, it's also become a modern-day leisure-world-style haven for the elderly. Just look at the two or three new assisted living developments (they're very nice).
Who knew you could fit so much legend into such a small town? If you ever feel like visiting (fyi: don't set aside more than an hour for this), La Palma is located off the 91 freeway between the Valley View and Carmenita exits (that's correct - we don't even have a proper freeway exit). Recommended sights to see: Central Park (our very own), which leads into our Green Belt (almost-famous among local urban planners), the super-duper Drug Emporium, the Carl's Junior on La Palma Ave. & Moody St., the 7-11, the chinese food place next to the Subway and Ralph's, and I hear the World Buffet at Centerpoint (note: don't place your "downtown" in the most remote corner of the city) is really good. Places to stay away from - if things haven't changed much since high school, don't go behind the Ralphs.
For all of Orange County's beachy "charm," La Palma, like most OC cities, has no coastline. There are no McMansions, no malls, just the main drag, a Ralphs and a Drug Emporium. Bordering right up to Los Angeles County (cities of Cerritos and Lakewood), chances are if you've lived in Orange County and ever went to Knott's Berry Farm, LA, Cerritos or Long Beach, you' ve driven through La Palma and never even noticed.
This is my hometown. Although no "famous" people have ever come out of La Palma proper, our high school has bred some well known outsiders: John Stamos (who reportedly lived in Cypress) and Lisa Tucker (she actually lives in Anaheim). You may remember John Stamos from such classics like Full House and his marraige to supermodel Rebecca Romjin. Lisa Tucker was on the most recent season of American Idol, and actually got her start on Broadway years ago (and she's singing in a free American Idols concert October 5 in front of Anaheim's City Hall...hint hint...GO!).
Other than the occasional celeb, local legend has it that our John F. Kennedy High School is actually the first high school in the nation adopt the name, just days after the assassination of our namesake. Originally the Centralia High School Patriots (or something or other), the school opened in 1963. After the death of JFK that November, the student body government immediately took action. Within days, they had gathered enough local signatures to officially change the name. For being the first, there was reportedly a visit from Rose Kennedy, JFK's mother, to dedicate the school under its new name, and there is a replica of her famous rocking chair somewhere on campus (it's been a while). But that's all according to legend.
Legend also has it (all we seem to have is legend) that La Palma is actually the first "planned community" in OC. It is reported that, when planning out the model for Irvine, James Irvine himself came to LP to scope out the scene and get some helpful hints. Formerly Dairyland, CA (along with parts of Cerritos and Cypress), it still reeks of manure everytime it rains. In the past decade or so, it's also become a modern-day leisure-world-style haven for the elderly. Just look at the two or three new assisted living developments (they're very nice).
Who knew you could fit so much legend into such a small town? If you ever feel like visiting (fyi: don't set aside more than an hour for this), La Palma is located off the 91 freeway between the Valley View and Carmenita exits (that's correct - we don't even have a proper freeway exit). Recommended sights to see: Central Park (our very own), which leads into our Green Belt (almost-famous among local urban planners), the super-duper Drug Emporium, the Carl's Junior on La Palma Ave. & Moody St., the 7-11, the chinese food place next to the Subway and Ralph's, and I hear the World Buffet at Centerpoint (note: don't place your "downtown" in the most remote corner of the city) is really good. Places to stay away from - if things haven't changed much since high school, don't go behind the Ralphs.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
commentary - media
So yes, I'll admit. In the "battle" of Good Morning America and The Today Show, I've entered the GMA zone (but only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays).
For those that caught this morning's shows, there was quite an interesting report on a recent documentary released about a "Jesus camp." The issue: is it religious fervor or brainwashing?
It started out sounding just like a retreat or revival type camp out in North Dakota. It says that is it for "evangelical Christians," a term used more loosely everyday. Aimed towards children aged from elementary through high school, the camp is more than just your typical Bible camp. The children speak in tongues, crying out into a microphone so the rest of the massively large group can hear. A speaker condemns Harry Potter to hell. A field trip may include a stop at a political protest against abortion or another issue.
One thing GMA did that was commendable was to get all sides of the story. Their guests were Becky Fischer, creator of the camp's organization Kids MInistries International, and Mike Papantonio, radio host of "Ring of Fire" on Air America.
Several good points were made by both individuals on the show this morning, although neither seems to have satisfied the masses (see the GMA message boards here). One of the continuing debates (in the past few hours) has been over Papantonio's statement regarding the age of the Earth (fyi - plenty of Christians are on both sides of the argument, and I don't think either of the views are completely wrong).
Here's the problem with media coverage: the whole shebang covering this documentary took only several minutes. In fact, if you look at the episode summaries of the day, it doesn't even list this as one of the stories. Definitely not on their list of things to cover wholly. The longest clip you actually see from the documentary is only several seconds long. And you can expect that the documentary itself has been cut to suit the director's bias (they all are - unintentional, most likely, but also unavoidable).
In the past year or so in journalism school, that's one thing I've definitely learned. Despite all attempts to be unbiased or objective, it is absolutely impossible unless you have no interest in the issue at all, at which point most journalists (especially students who aren't getting paid for the assignment) wouldn't cover it at all.
There are many things that make sense about a Jesus camp, although maybe not that Jesus camp. Growing up Christian has also taught me that there are many things that don't make sense in the way people, even Christians, interpret the Bible and its teachings. That is one of the drawbacks that makes it difficult to rely on a document that's thousands of years old, but I don't think that negates the accuracy or truthfulness of it at a whole.
Fischer, who created the camp in question, had one very good point to make, however, about the crossover between religion and politics. She said, to paraphrase, that as a Christian, it is inherently impossible to leave her beliefs at the door of the polling place. It reverberates into every part of her life, and as a contributing citizen to society, voting is part of it.
With the ongoing decline of voting in this country, that is something many believers and non-believers alike should take to heart. If you're going to be complaining about the religious right vote, then I expect you to be voting yourself. If not, then you've got nothing to complain about.
Lesson: whatever your thoughts on Christians or Jesus camps, please vote. Midterm elections are this November, so register ASAP (there is usually a deadline of a month of so before an election to register). If you are too lazy to go to the polls, there is an absentee option. No excuses!
For those that caught this morning's shows, there was quite an interesting report on a recent documentary released about a "Jesus camp." The issue: is it religious fervor or brainwashing?
It started out sounding just like a retreat or revival type camp out in North Dakota. It says that is it for "evangelical Christians," a term used more loosely everyday. Aimed towards children aged from elementary through high school, the camp is more than just your typical Bible camp. The children speak in tongues, crying out into a microphone so the rest of the massively large group can hear. A speaker condemns Harry Potter to hell. A field trip may include a stop at a political protest against abortion or another issue.
One thing GMA did that was commendable was to get all sides of the story. Their guests were Becky Fischer, creator of the camp's organization Kids MInistries International, and Mike Papantonio, radio host of "Ring of Fire" on Air America.
Several good points were made by both individuals on the show this morning, although neither seems to have satisfied the masses (see the GMA message boards here). One of the continuing debates (in the past few hours) has been over Papantonio's statement regarding the age of the Earth (fyi - plenty of Christians are on both sides of the argument, and I don't think either of the views are completely wrong).
Here's the problem with media coverage: the whole shebang covering this documentary took only several minutes. In fact, if you look at the episode summaries of the day, it doesn't even list this as one of the stories. Definitely not on their list of things to cover wholly. The longest clip you actually see from the documentary is only several seconds long. And you can expect that the documentary itself has been cut to suit the director's bias (they all are - unintentional, most likely, but also unavoidable).
In the past year or so in journalism school, that's one thing I've definitely learned. Despite all attempts to be unbiased or objective, it is absolutely impossible unless you have no interest in the issue at all, at which point most journalists (especially students who aren't getting paid for the assignment) wouldn't cover it at all.
There are many things that make sense about a Jesus camp, although maybe not that Jesus camp. Growing up Christian has also taught me that there are many things that don't make sense in the way people, even Christians, interpret the Bible and its teachings. That is one of the drawbacks that makes it difficult to rely on a document that's thousands of years old, but I don't think that negates the accuracy or truthfulness of it at a whole.
Fischer, who created the camp in question, had one very good point to make, however, about the crossover between religion and politics. She said, to paraphrase, that as a Christian, it is inherently impossible to leave her beliefs at the door of the polling place. It reverberates into every part of her life, and as a contributing citizen to society, voting is part of it.
With the ongoing decline of voting in this country, that is something many believers and non-believers alike should take to heart. If you're going to be complaining about the religious right vote, then I expect you to be voting yourself. If not, then you've got nothing to complain about.
Lesson: whatever your thoughts on Christians or Jesus camps, please vote. Midterm elections are this November, so register ASAP (there is usually a deadline of a month of so before an election to register). If you are too lazy to go to the polls, there is an absentee option. No excuses!
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
The One Useful Thing Geraldo Has Told Me in the Last Year
For those that like the competition of sports betting and fantasy sports, but don't like the sports part, here's an alternative.
Fantasy Husband.
Now, why would anyone want a Fantasy Husband? Even if you don't have the real thing, a Fantasy Husband can't cook you dinner or rub your feet after a long day of shopping. Well, perhaps your fantasy husband can, but none of the "players" on your Fantasy Husband team can.
That's because they don't exist. The scenarios are fake. Unlike fantasy sports, in which scoring is based on actual plays made in real games you can actually watch on TV, Fantasy Husband is based on 20 fictional characters. Each team manager (to use fantasy sports terms) chooses three to be on her team. Each week, scenarios are posed to the men (there are real ones making up answers for the fake guys you see on the site), and psychologists and experts score the men on their answers.
Searching around the website, you find a list with photos and descriptions of the husbands (no idea where they got these photos). It's a bit jarring to know that these profiles are completely false. Can they get more cliche? Alberto, 31, likes cooking and Latin music, and in his photo wears an open button-up plaid shirt. Dennis, the 33-year-old pilot, also likes boating and diving. The youngest man is 27 years old, and he is the egoist (sound familiar?). Half of the men are 6'0 and 190 lbs. (at that estimate Kevin is in really good shape), and of the 20, there are two African American men (the rest are Caucasian, European or Hispanic). Not much to choose from.
Forward over to the Discussion Forums, where 655 members air their opinions on, surprisingly, not many topics. Most of the posts are just there to clarify rules, how the scoring works, and questions. This is also, apparently, a section started by the administrators of the site called "Christian Perspective," which offers Bible verses and "Christian" answers to the weekly scenarios.
Wow. Could not believe it. Not my cup o'tea, but I congratulate the women that put this together. It obviously took a lot of forethought, planning and computer know-how to set up the FHL (yes, that's the acronym the FHL Commissioners use).
But as for me and my house? We'll stick with the real deal.
Fantasy Husband.
Now, why would anyone want a Fantasy Husband? Even if you don't have the real thing, a Fantasy Husband can't cook you dinner or rub your feet after a long day of shopping. Well, perhaps your fantasy husband can, but none of the "players" on your Fantasy Husband team can.
That's because they don't exist. The scenarios are fake. Unlike fantasy sports, in which scoring is based on actual plays made in real games you can actually watch on TV, Fantasy Husband is based on 20 fictional characters. Each team manager (to use fantasy sports terms) chooses three to be on her team. Each week, scenarios are posed to the men (there are real ones making up answers for the fake guys you see on the site), and psychologists and experts score the men on their answers.
Searching around the website, you find a list with photos and descriptions of the husbands (no idea where they got these photos). It's a bit jarring to know that these profiles are completely false. Can they get more cliche? Alberto, 31, likes cooking and Latin music, and in his photo wears an open button-up plaid shirt. Dennis, the 33-year-old pilot, also likes boating and diving. The youngest man is 27 years old, and he is the egoist (sound familiar?). Half of the men are 6'0 and 190 lbs. (at that estimate Kevin is in really good shape), and of the 20, there are two African American men (the rest are Caucasian, European or Hispanic). Not much to choose from.
Forward over to the Discussion Forums, where 655 members air their opinions on, surprisingly, not many topics. Most of the posts are just there to clarify rules, how the scoring works, and questions. This is also, apparently, a section started by the administrators of the site called "Christian Perspective," which offers Bible verses and "Christian" answers to the weekly scenarios.
Wow. Could not believe it. Not my cup o'tea, but I congratulate the women that put this together. It obviously took a lot of forethought, planning and computer know-how to set up the FHL (yes, that's the acronym the FHL Commissioners use).
But as for me and my house? We'll stick with the real deal.
Monday, September 25, 2006
the femi-man mystique
As our men get more and more well-groomed with each tweeze of the eyebrow, television shows seem to be harkening an age-old view of "manliness." Take Fox's Sunday night lineup last night. A run-down:
-Simpsons: Homer is recruited by Marge to be the face of her fix-it company, since people are not receiving a handy-woman very well. Homer's ego is so blown up by the compliments he's getting for Marge's work that he is terrified of exposing Marge's genius and his own shortcoming. Eventually, he has to admit that Marge is the one doing the work and that he is inept.
-American Dad: After being taken by a car salesman for the tenth time in a day, Stan Smith, CIA negotiator extraordinaire, begins questionning his abilities and feels the need to prove his manlihood. Comedy and raunchiness ensues. Yadda Yadda.
-The War At Home: For the sake of "good parenting," young father Dave accompanies his nerdy son to a comic book/sci-fi convention, complete with costumes. He puts his own manly needs first, taking the boys for a long lunch to watch a Jets game, which overlaps with their comic book idol's live book signing. Needless to say, the son is absolutely heartbroken and, of course, angry at his dad's ignorance to his needs nad preferences. He ends up in a fist-fight with the character in the men's room. Word spreads to the other attendees and they jump to the defense of their superhero. As always in the world of family sitcoms, the son jumps to defend his father, in essence saving the "man" from a bunch of geeks.
What is with this fear of being seen as girly? Living in New York, it's rare to find a man NOT carrying a "man-bag" unless he's in a power-suit (laptop cases and briefcases don't count). And yet, despite all the signals thrown my way, I would probably burn a "man-bag" if Kevin decided to bring one home (thank goodness he never will).
In a world where Clinique has a men's line and Sephora is central for male skincare and scents, the gap between the manly man and the metrosexual is widening daily. Many men would argue that they bridge the gap (take Johnny Damon, the impossibly well-groomed Yankee), but do they really? Is that even possible?
The most common double-standard exists between men and women. In the workplace, at home, in different cultures. But is there a double-standard for Men and men? Do we value males more highly for their accomplishments or their hygiene? How common is it for us to pass judgement on "girly men?" We know it's common for Arnold, but we do it every day (we being men and women - don't think you're exempt). Even those women that prefer more sensitive men would identify them as such.
A friend of mine from high school has a post on his Xanga stating some "rules" for girls brought back to the apartment he shares with other college grads (yes, grads). The first and over arching: they must be hot or have a great personality. Both is better, but they must satisfy at least one requirement. Do girls impose the same? They must be hot or really sweet? Isn't that how most girls pick a guy? How often do you hear "at least he treats me well," "at least he looks good," or "at least he provides for me."
Do we really value only two things in a man? Between a hot guy and a rich guy, which one would you choose? Far from being free of imposed expectations, men almost have more to live up to, even in today's "progressive" society.
Can a man be both manly and soft? I argue yes. Women are always arguing that they need to be taken seriously for all their qualities; shouldn't we allow the same consideration for men?
-Simpsons: Homer is recruited by Marge to be the face of her fix-it company, since people are not receiving a handy-woman very well. Homer's ego is so blown up by the compliments he's getting for Marge's work that he is terrified of exposing Marge's genius and his own shortcoming. Eventually, he has to admit that Marge is the one doing the work and that he is inept.
-American Dad: After being taken by a car salesman for the tenth time in a day, Stan Smith, CIA negotiator extraordinaire, begins questionning his abilities and feels the need to prove his manlihood. Comedy and raunchiness ensues. Yadda Yadda.
-The War At Home: For the sake of "good parenting," young father Dave accompanies his nerdy son to a comic book/sci-fi convention, complete with costumes. He puts his own manly needs first, taking the boys for a long lunch to watch a Jets game, which overlaps with their comic book idol's live book signing. Needless to say, the son is absolutely heartbroken and, of course, angry at his dad's ignorance to his needs nad preferences. He ends up in a fist-fight with the character in the men's room. Word spreads to the other attendees and they jump to the defense of their superhero. As always in the world of family sitcoms, the son jumps to defend his father, in essence saving the "man" from a bunch of geeks.
What is with this fear of being seen as girly? Living in New York, it's rare to find a man NOT carrying a "man-bag" unless he's in a power-suit (laptop cases and briefcases don't count). And yet, despite all the signals thrown my way, I would probably burn a "man-bag" if Kevin decided to bring one home (thank goodness he never will).
In a world where Clinique has a men's line and Sephora is central for male skincare and scents, the gap between the manly man and the metrosexual is widening daily. Many men would argue that they bridge the gap (take Johnny Damon, the impossibly well-groomed Yankee), but do they really? Is that even possible?
The most common double-standard exists between men and women. In the workplace, at home, in different cultures. But is there a double-standard for Men and men? Do we value males more highly for their accomplishments or their hygiene? How common is it for us to pass judgement on "girly men?" We know it's common for Arnold, but we do it every day (we being men and women - don't think you're exempt). Even those women that prefer more sensitive men would identify them as such.
A friend of mine from high school has a post on his Xanga stating some "rules" for girls brought back to the apartment he shares with other college grads (yes, grads). The first and over arching: they must be hot or have a great personality. Both is better, but they must satisfy at least one requirement. Do girls impose the same? They must be hot or really sweet? Isn't that how most girls pick a guy? How often do you hear "at least he treats me well," "at least he looks good," or "at least he provides for me."
Do we really value only two things in a man? Between a hot guy and a rich guy, which one would you choose? Far from being free of imposed expectations, men almost have more to live up to, even in today's "progressive" society.
Can a man be both manly and soft? I argue yes. Women are always arguing that they need to be taken seriously for all their qualities; shouldn't we allow the same consideration for men?
