Monday, September 25, 2006
the femi-man mystique
As our men get more and more well-groomed with each tweeze of the eyebrow, television shows seem to be harkening an age-old view of "manliness." Take Fox's Sunday night lineup last night. A run-down:
-Simpsons: Homer is recruited by Marge to be the face of her fix-it company, since people are not receiving a handy-woman very well. Homer's ego is so blown up by the compliments he's getting for Marge's work that he is terrified of exposing Marge's genius and his own shortcoming. Eventually, he has to admit that Marge is the one doing the work and that he is inept.
-American Dad: After being taken by a car salesman for the tenth time in a day, Stan Smith, CIA negotiator extraordinaire, begins questionning his abilities and feels the need to prove his manlihood. Comedy and raunchiness ensues. Yadda Yadda.
-The War At Home: For the sake of "good parenting," young father Dave accompanies his nerdy son to a comic book/sci-fi convention, complete with costumes. He puts his own manly needs first, taking the boys for a long lunch to watch a Jets game, which overlaps with their comic book idol's live book signing. Needless to say, the son is absolutely heartbroken and, of course, angry at his dad's ignorance to his needs nad preferences. He ends up in a fist-fight with the character in the men's room. Word spreads to the other attendees and they jump to the defense of their superhero. As always in the world of family sitcoms, the son jumps to defend his father, in essence saving the "man" from a bunch of geeks.
What is with this fear of being seen as girly? Living in New York, it's rare to find a man NOT carrying a "man-bag" unless he's in a power-suit (laptop cases and briefcases don't count). And yet, despite all the signals thrown my way, I would probably burn a "man-bag" if Kevin decided to bring one home (thank goodness he never will).
In a world where Clinique has a men's line and Sephora is central for male skincare and scents, the gap between the manly man and the metrosexual is widening daily. Many men would argue that they bridge the gap (take Johnny Damon, the impossibly well-groomed Yankee), but do they really? Is that even possible?
The most common double-standard exists between men and women. In the workplace, at home, in different cultures. But is there a double-standard for Men and men? Do we value males more highly for their accomplishments or their hygiene? How common is it for us to pass judgement on "girly men?" We know it's common for Arnold, but we do it every day (we being men and women - don't think you're exempt). Even those women that prefer more sensitive men would identify them as such.
A friend of mine from high school has a post on his Xanga stating some "rules" for girls brought back to the apartment he shares with other college grads (yes, grads). The first and over arching: they must be hot or have a great personality. Both is better, but they must satisfy at least one requirement. Do girls impose the same? They must be hot or really sweet? Isn't that how most girls pick a guy? How often do you hear "at least he treats me well," "at least he looks good," or "at least he provides for me."
Do we really value only two things in a man? Between a hot guy and a rich guy, which one would you choose? Far from being free of imposed expectations, men almost have more to live up to, even in today's "progressive" society.
Can a man be both manly and soft? I argue yes. Women are always arguing that they need to be taken seriously for all their qualities; shouldn't we allow the same consideration for men?
-Simpsons: Homer is recruited by Marge to be the face of her fix-it company, since people are not receiving a handy-woman very well. Homer's ego is so blown up by the compliments he's getting for Marge's work that he is terrified of exposing Marge's genius and his own shortcoming. Eventually, he has to admit that Marge is the one doing the work and that he is inept.
-American Dad: After being taken by a car salesman for the tenth time in a day, Stan Smith, CIA negotiator extraordinaire, begins questionning his abilities and feels the need to prove his manlihood. Comedy and raunchiness ensues. Yadda Yadda.
-The War At Home: For the sake of "good parenting," young father Dave accompanies his nerdy son to a comic book/sci-fi convention, complete with costumes. He puts his own manly needs first, taking the boys for a long lunch to watch a Jets game, which overlaps with their comic book idol's live book signing. Needless to say, the son is absolutely heartbroken and, of course, angry at his dad's ignorance to his needs nad preferences. He ends up in a fist-fight with the character in the men's room. Word spreads to the other attendees and they jump to the defense of their superhero. As always in the world of family sitcoms, the son jumps to defend his father, in essence saving the "man" from a bunch of geeks.
What is with this fear of being seen as girly? Living in New York, it's rare to find a man NOT carrying a "man-bag" unless he's in a power-suit (laptop cases and briefcases don't count). And yet, despite all the signals thrown my way, I would probably burn a "man-bag" if Kevin decided to bring one home (thank goodness he never will).
In a world where Clinique has a men's line and Sephora is central for male skincare and scents, the gap between the manly man and the metrosexual is widening daily. Many men would argue that they bridge the gap (take Johnny Damon, the impossibly well-groomed Yankee), but do they really? Is that even possible?
The most common double-standard exists between men and women. In the workplace, at home, in different cultures. But is there a double-standard for Men and men? Do we value males more highly for their accomplishments or their hygiene? How common is it for us to pass judgement on "girly men?" We know it's common for Arnold, but we do it every day (we being men and women - don't think you're exempt). Even those women that prefer more sensitive men would identify them as such.
A friend of mine from high school has a post on his Xanga stating some "rules" for girls brought back to the apartment he shares with other college grads (yes, grads). The first and over arching: they must be hot or have a great personality. Both is better, but they must satisfy at least one requirement. Do girls impose the same? They must be hot or really sweet? Isn't that how most girls pick a guy? How often do you hear "at least he treats me well," "at least he looks good," or "at least he provides for me."
Do we really value only two things in a man? Between a hot guy and a rich guy, which one would you choose? Far from being free of imposed expectations, men almost have more to live up to, even in today's "progressive" society.
Can a man be both manly and soft? I argue yes. Women are always arguing that they need to be taken seriously for all their qualities; shouldn't we allow the same consideration for men?
# posted by ange : 10:49 AM
Comments:
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why is good grooming considered to be femme anyway? even superman, who is supposed to be THE man, takes care of himself. he's always clean shaven, has shellacked hair, perfect skin, even tan, clean teeth... and i bet if we could get a close-up of his hands, we would see that not only does he have clean and trimmed nails, but he's also just rightly moisturized. (...damnit, why can't i be superman?!) but anyway. just cause some guy likes to get manis and pedis and likes to shop for clothing we say that he is metro, he is fem, he is not a real man. why? that's so stupid! society tells us that it's women who should primp themselves but really, that's just current times. european men used to wear wigs and face powder, just like the women of the time. egyptian men wore eyeliner. roman men loved to get oiled up. and wat does all of that mean? nothing. the tides will change and sooner or later all our current gender shoulds and shouldn'ts will be obsolete. so fuck convention. do wat you like. and like wat you like.
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